This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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