Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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