i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize