Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's work?
Spinning.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize