capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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