i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize