how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
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You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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