Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
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Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
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A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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