cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're using joints as your birthday candles
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26