We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts