Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
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trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
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I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!