I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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