i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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