I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
