you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
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You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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