As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize