Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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