i think my mom watched the whole time
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i can't believe i had my finger in that
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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