I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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