R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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