i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
