Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
