My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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