Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
