I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
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You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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