Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
