But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
