why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
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my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
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I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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