He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
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I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
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Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.