Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.