Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
