What a fucking waste of an outfit
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
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