when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
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I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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