so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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