It's Friday. Sex?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize