there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess