so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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