Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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