i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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