I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
