and you said cock pushups were impossible
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
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