So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.