do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
