I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
