i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
