fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.