I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."