I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize