Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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