how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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