My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
