three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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