There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
bring money and cleavage
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize