Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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